Pick-up Lines and Missed Connections

I have sort of an internet routine that I like to follow when I'm bored (see previous blog post about internet). Often, I find myself perusing Craigslist in order to find some new entertainment. One of my favorite stops is the "Missed Connections" section of the site. If you haven't seen it, you're really missing out.

People write a cryptic message to someone they saw in a public place but were too afraid to talk to. Most of them start out with a date or time (i.e. Tuesday at 4 PM) and include a location (Berea Wal-Mart, Richmond Road, gas stations, dollar stores, etc.). They describe the person that they are trying to find (hot dude with black shirt driving BMW) and then the writer describes his or her own self (creepy girl with binoculars at park, for example).

Here's an actual Lexington Craigslist Missed Connection: I saw you working at the Med Center Library. You were wearing a purple shirt. Your strawberry blond hair fell beautifully on your shoulder. You had to log me onto the computer. I kept flossing. Reply if you like public dental hygiene.

I think you get the idea. So, these are cheesy (and possibly fake in some cases). But my real question is, does anyone think that this will ever work? Yes, it's tempting to think that someone is out there checking the missed connections to see if you wrote them. But really, what are the odds that someone both was interested in you and is actually checking the same website as you (albeit it that Craiglist is very popular)?

The odds of a relationship of any kind starting on Craiglist are probably about the same as the odds of getting a date by yelling "Hey baby, nice ass!" out of a car window at someone walking by. No one is swooning at these actions, and no one will probably respond to you.

Why do we do it then? Why are there a handful of these "connections" daily? If you want to talk to the redhead in the purple shirt, do it on the spot. If you are peering at your neighbor with binoculars, go introduce yourself. If you're going to post a missed connection, make sure it's entertaining and not pathetic. I need as much worthless entertainment online as I can find. If not, I'll have to move to the "free" section on the site. . .http://lexington.craigslist.org/zip/2282895273.html

Reasons You Should Go to a Baseball Game

I know a lot of people are anti-baseball. And really, I understand. It can be a long game to watch, there are a lot of breaks, and sometimes nothing really happens in a game. With that being said, I'm still going to try to convince you to go to a game this year. No, really.

If you don't like watching baseball on TV, fine. It's hard to do, even for a devoted fan. But going to a game is a much different experience. There's a lot going on before the game and between innings. Many parks even have bands or fireworks after the game. In short, it's a lot more entertaining in person. Here are some reasons why:

1. People watching

There are a lot of silly, drunk people at games. Go see them! Make fun of them! Become one of them!

2. Delicious food

(See image above). Parks have a lot to offer. In fact, many Major League teams are going to a more "gourmet" style of food: http://www.travelandleisure.com/articles/best-baseball-stadium-food Crab cakes, tacos, ribs and other delicious items are available at many parks. Of course, there's always the traditional hot dog and popcorn treats as well. Some parks even have more healthful options, like salads or fruit as a side item. For myself, I rarely eat a hot dog outside of the park, but when I go to a game, it's the first thing I look for. Whatever your interests, there is surely something to enjoy.

3. Possible foul ball

At football or basketball games, you'll be asked to give back the ball if it comes into your seating area. At hockey games, you want to avoid the puck lest you have an emergency trip to the dentist. Not many sports can boast a souvenir such as this-a fresh new baseball.

There are a lot of baseballs used in the game. Players hit foul balls all the time, and if you're seated in one of the hot spots (behind the dugouts or maybe even home plate), you may catch one of these prize possessions. Just don't do what this girl did:

4. Free giveaways/discounts

One time, I got a Bald Eagle baseball card at a game! Sometimes, there are cards with real players on them, or even "signed" (mass printed) collectibles. On really good days, you'll get hats or t-shirts.

Minor league parks are the best about giveaways, because they have to bribe people to come to their games. They often have dollar beer or quarter hot dog nights, or other weekly promos. In addition, your ticket stub may give you discounts at local businesses. If you pick the right day to go to the park, you might end up with a good deal. Here's a list of promos from my local team, the Legends: http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/promotions/index.jsp?sid=t495

In closing, give it a try. It can be pretty cheap to go to a minor league team and make yourself at home in the bleachers. Grab some food, a foul ball, a bobble head, and you're all set. You'll thank me later.

Spring Break Updates

So, I went on Spring Break this week (technically). I was in Florida with a few friends of mine of vacation. I realize that I have already graduated college and do not technically meet the Spring Break criteria, but I tried my hardest to blend in with the "Frat Lauderdale" crowd. Here are some interesting things I learned in my time in sunny Florida:

1. Pizza (or pete-za) is a very versatile food. Although I was unable to call Mad Mushroom while on vacation, I found several places that sold pizza by the slice. I had pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while on the trip. It was a very economical meal ($3) compared to some of my other splurges.

2. Having a 60 year old man as your wing man could not go well for you. 60 year old men cannot keep their stories straight. Are you the Dad? The friend of the uncle? What is going on? Also, if you graduated high school in 1992, you should not be hitting on someone who graduated in 2003-2006. Not going to go well, dude.

3. There are a lot of tacky beach shops everywhere. Right along the beach (where I was staying, might I add), there were an overwhelming number of tourist trap shops. This is pretty par for the course. However, I noticed that many of the shop owners were of Indian descent. After noted this, I wondered whether or not they knew what any of the t-shirt slogans (mentioning sex, drugs, etc.) meant or if they just buying a standard package of Spring Break attire.

There was some pretty awful stuff in there (including t-shirt slogans I won't mention. (Go to T-Shirt Hell if you need some ideas: ) Also included were pipes for "tobacco" smoking and the like. Apparently, all cultures have an awful view of everyone on vacation. Probably a good call. If you're wondering, my friend picked up a sweet "GTL" shirt that was freshly screen printed.

4. I would like to move to Florida. Okay, maybe not. But, it was a pretty sweet place to vacation. Now, when is the next one?

Stage of Internet Usage

No, this post is not about tiered internet usage or anything from a technology standpoint (sorry, C-net fans). It's just about the rise and fall of the internet and its usage in the average human being. Okay, so I'm basing this on my own experience and observations. But, here's what I've decided.

Stage I
This is the stage where you've just gotten internet access (flashback to 8th grade for me). The internet is awesome (even though it may be dial-up) and endless to you at this point. You got an e-mail address somehow ("What is Hotmail?" I once asked myself) and maybe even started instant messaging. Life is good. Some of my older relatives who have just got the internet are still in this stage. They forward chain e-mails (to 10 friends before midnight, of course) to avoid bad luck. Any e-mail they get must be true (yes, Virginia, people are hiding under your car waiting cut your ankles with a razor blade at night).

Stage 2
You're now exploring sites for your favorite interests (Backstreet Boys and the Chicago Cubs for circa 1998 Katie). There's so much to absorb and you're trying to find every detail about everything. You visit "angelfire" fan sites and the like. Any source is a good source at this stage. The internet is still endless.

Stage 3
You've pared down your usage of the internet. You've established a routine (check mail, check Facebook, Google something, turn off computer) and no longer stray from your old haunts. For some, this may be a favorite news or sports site. For others, technology blogs. Whatever it is, it's a routine much like reading the newspaper is for many old men.

Stage 4
You are now officially bored of the internet. You watch YouTube videos mindlessly and go through your routine. Why isn't the internet more entertaining now? I think this could describe the phase that many of us 20-somethings are in. Now, we look for new devices to get the internet on instead of new content.

Maybe it's okay to be in Stage 4. You get straight to the point without getting lost in too much content. You can figure out reliable sources for research (no matter how unimportant). You avoid viruses more readily as you're not clicking on everything. Here's to the internet.

My TV Shows

All of the TV shows I watch are actually the same show. Or at least, there could be three different story line within the same show. For example, a crime is committed.

Law enforcement (cue Stabler and Benson from Law and Order: SVU) get a call for a murder. They go to the crime scene and look at the body or interview the victim. CSI is called in (and we move from NYC to Vegas) and finds clues for the police.

If the body is too mangled or too decomposed for normal CSIs, its transported to the Jeffersonian (the flagship lab of Bones) and more analysis is done.

Then, Stabler and Benson, along with Special Agent Booth, come back to interrogate the perp and he or she gets arrested. Then, law (and possibly order) takes over again and someone goes to jail.

For those of you unfamiliar with these shows, Bones, Law and Order, and CSI are actually three different shows that feed (and maybe copy) off of one another. I watch them fairly regularly and generally I enjoy them. But I'm starting to notice a lot of overlap. The unrealistic nature of all these shows is also starting to wear thin with me. For example:

a. Each worker in the lab is ridiculously talented in multiple areas of investigation.

They can do fingerprints, bugs, DNA, handwriting analysis, shoe print identification, ballistics, tire track comparisons and anything else you want to throw in. Every person seems to know how to do all of these things though. Very unrealistic.

b. Everyone is ridiculously hot.

L and O may have some less-than-smokin' employees on deck (Munch, Ice-T), but the main characters are easy on the eyes. Most of the people on Bones are good looking (and subsequently, are all sleeping with each other). CSI also features mainly attractive people (except for Captain Brass, which is why he didn't make the cut for the above photo).

c. 95% of cases are solved in one episode.

In a matter of only days, each case is neatly bundled in a package that is handed to a lawyer, who tries the case immediately. Bad guys go to jail. The next cases rolls in just in time for the proceeding show. In the real justice system, some of these people may be in jail for years before they even go to trial. We have some very expedient justice on the TV shows.

I guess none of these points are really all that original, but if you've ever watched any of these shows, hopefully this will hit home. Just throw in some real-life crime shows here and you've got an excellent, crime-filled TV marathon.

Thoughts on Boredom

I realized I felt "bored" the other day while looking something up on my computer and watching something on NetFlix. I'm not sure how you can be bored by doing more than one thing, but I feel this way a lot. I'm probably not alone; I think a lot of people have a sense of ennui, especially in the wintertime.

I almost feel guilty for being bored immediately after saying I feel that way. My Mom (ever the optimist) always reminds me that "Life is too precious to be bored," and I agree with her. Yet, I still end up in ruts sometimes.

Frank Tyre (a newspaper guy) once said, "The biggest bore is the person who is bored by everyone and everything." Maybe he's right, too. It's a real downer to be around people who are mindlessly doing things or just laying around (even if we need these forms of relaxation sometimes).

Most people can't even go to a dinner, a movie, or a social outing without having their phone with them in case there's a lull in conversation or a hint of lacking excitement. Are we all bored? Or are we all just boring?

I don't really know what the answer is here, but maybe I'll stop and think before I declare boredom as the cause of all my problems. After all, there are a lot more interesting things I could be doing. . .

Gym Personalities I Hate: Part 2

It's pretty easy to think of more people to hate at a place that has such a wide variety of weirdos. Let's begin.

Smelly Guy

Everyone knows this guy. He's on the treadmill and he's barely walking, but he smells like [insert awful scent here]. I'm not sure if this is a hygiene malfunction (failed deodorant?) or a natural smell (curry?) for some, but it is not fun to be in close quarters with this one. I don't really have a lot to be clever about on this one, but I do know that I wish he would find a new gym.

New BFF Lady

This lady (sometimes multiple ladies) is in my group fitness class. I talked with her before class one day, and so now she thinks I want to talk to her all the time. I don't mind a little pre-workout socialization, but I do mind someone talking during class. It's distracting to me, and kind of annoying for the instructor as well.

Plus, she never has anything interesting to say. Yesterday, she walked over and told me how much she hated using resistance bands. Clearly, I do not care about her workout preferences. Maybe I should go back to being a gym hermit to avoid such confrontations.

Marching to His Own Drummer Guy

I hadn't actually noticed this guy until New BFF Lady pointed him out (in the middle of class, half-whispering), but now he really annoys me. He's a 50+ year old guy who comes to female dominated aerobics classes. He gets out all the same equipment that we do, but he never does the same exercises. I'm not sure if he thinks the class is too easy, or if he's trying to impress the ladies, but neither of these things are working out for him.

For example, if we're doing some cardio on the step, he might just start doing lunges or squats himself. If we're doing lunges, he'll do something else. I understand modifying the class, but I don't understand completely abandoning it. If it's so easy, maybe he should work out himself. If he's trying to impress women, maybe he should join Hair Club for Men. There are many solutions to make him less annoying. Maybe if BFF Lady is loud enough, he'll get the hint and stop coming to class.

Well, that's my gym rant for now; look for these celebrities or similar personalities at your own gym!