Reasons Why I Hate the GRE

I've been thinking a lot about the GRE today, mainly because I am supposed to take it today. (Yes, I'm using my review time to get in a quick blog.) For those of you lucky enough to have no prior knowledge of this bane, I'll give a brief explanation. The test is computer-based and consists of verbal, math and writing sections. Each section has a set number of questions and/or essay prompts that must be answered within a given range of time.

Now, I realize that I have an unnatural fear and/or hatred of this standardized test. Why such emotions over a silly test? I've asked myself this question many times, and I believe the hatred can be concisely explained by three main points:

1. I used enjoy 2 out of 3 of the sections that the GRE is supposed to measure: writing and verbal. I actually enjoyed grammar reviews and English classes for my entire education. Furthermore, as you may realize of many bloggers, I enjoy writing.

But now, these loves have been tainted by this exam. The GRE expects the average person to know words like "desultory" or "augury" and maybe even expects these same people to use these words in every day conversation. I should probably clarify that I am applying for a Master's program in Public Health. In this field, I would be expected to convey my messages in a manner (and language) that my audience could understand. Using fancy words to make my point would only alienate and confuse my audience. Not what I'm looking for if I want to be a success. To use a favorite quote: "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice?"

As for the writing section, you may be able to find a glimmer of enjoyment in this task, but I'm not sure it's quite what I would call "writing for pleasure." Either way, I find little enjoyment in these subjects when in test form.

2. In addition, the GRE takes any test taking skills I had learned over my 15+ years of education and destroys them. Since I took my first paper-based exam in a class I can't even remember, I have had the ability to leave a question blank if I was unsure of the answer and come back to it at the end of the test. Many may use this strategy as well. It saves time and makes sure that you answer the questions you are sure of first.

But, the GRE is a computer-based exam. Therefore, once you lock in the answer to a question, there's no looking back. Heaven forbid that the first question stumps you; you'd be better off just moving on I suppose. But, the test is also weighed more heavily at the beginning than the end, meaning that the answers you give on the first 1/3 of the questions set the tone for the rest of the exam (as well as influence your score in a greater manner).

Yes, I realize you can still take the exam in a paper format, but the test results take ages to come in, which is not good in the face of application deadlines. Perhaps this is something we will all have to get used to, as many more things will be computer-based only. Hopefully kids are getting this lesson in school. . .

3. The last reason I hate the GRE is simple: I suck at math and they don't give me a calculator. This may fall under what I would call a "goo-goo-gah-gah" category (i.e. stop being a big baby category). I agree with myself on some level, but on another, I am angry that I don't get a calculator. There have been few times in my life where I have needed to do a math problem and not had a computer or a calculator. Certainly, I'm not an engineer, and I'm definitely not Macgyver.

Still, what skill are we really testing here? Give me a calculator! GOO-GOO!

Anyways, the fact remains that I cannot change the GRE. It can only change me. So, if the next time you see me I'm wearing a sweet Macgyver leather jacket and using really, really big words, you'll know what happened.