Gym Personalities I Hate: Part 2

It's pretty easy to think of more people to hate at a place that has such a wide variety of weirdos. Let's begin.

Smelly Guy

Everyone knows this guy. He's on the treadmill and he's barely walking, but he smells like [insert awful scent here]. I'm not sure if this is a hygiene malfunction (failed deodorant?) or a natural smell (curry?) for some, but it is not fun to be in close quarters with this one. I don't really have a lot to be clever about on this one, but I do know that I wish he would find a new gym.

New BFF Lady

This lady (sometimes multiple ladies) is in my group fitness class. I talked with her before class one day, and so now she thinks I want to talk to her all the time. I don't mind a little pre-workout socialization, but I do mind someone talking during class. It's distracting to me, and kind of annoying for the instructor as well.

Plus, she never has anything interesting to say. Yesterday, she walked over and told me how much she hated using resistance bands. Clearly, I do not care about her workout preferences. Maybe I should go back to being a gym hermit to avoid such confrontations.

Marching to His Own Drummer Guy

I hadn't actually noticed this guy until New BFF Lady pointed him out (in the middle of class, half-whispering), but now he really annoys me. He's a 50+ year old guy who comes to female dominated aerobics classes. He gets out all the same equipment that we do, but he never does the same exercises. I'm not sure if he thinks the class is too easy, or if he's trying to impress the ladies, but neither of these things are working out for him.

For example, if we're doing some cardio on the step, he might just start doing lunges or squats himself. If we're doing lunges, he'll do something else. I understand modifying the class, but I don't understand completely abandoning it. If it's so easy, maybe he should work out himself. If he's trying to impress women, maybe he should join Hair Club for Men. There are many solutions to make him less annoying. Maybe if BFF Lady is loud enough, he'll get the hint and stop coming to class.

Well, that's my gym rant for now; look for these celebrities or similar personalities at your own gym!

Gym Personalities I Hate: Part 1

As an exercise enthusiast, I've noticed that there are a lot of characters at a place like the gym: some good, and some very bad. I have formulated a set of common gym stereotypes out of the people I see so often. In this three part segment, I hope to outline some of the more memorable personalities I've encountered.

The Way Too Sweaty Guy

This guy is frequently found in cycling class. He's wearing an Under Armour tank top, trying to look buff. But, you also notice he's put 10 of the red gym rags under his bike. What's going on?

Midway through class, W.T.S.G. (Way Too Sweaty Guy) has formed his own pool underneath his exercise device. Sweat is dripping off him at such an alarming rate that the towels under him look like the generic brand of paper towels in a Brawny commercial. The janitor probably needs to come in and clean up the room after him because he barely wipes down the floor after throwing his wad of towels in the dirty hamper. How is one dude producing so much sweat? Why are we forced to watch him? [*sigh*]

The Bottleneck Lady

This person is an avid group fitness class participant. Most classes at my gym are in a workout studio with small rooms for the equipment in back of the studio. You can walk in, get a step or some weights, and walk aback out. In the most annoying incident, this lady will try to block as many people as possible from getting their weights out of the rooms, and more annoyingly, back in the room.

Many classes feature barbells, which require weights on each end of a bar that are secured with two clips. The proper etiquette for getting this particular workout item is to get all items individually, take them back to your station, then put them together into the barbell. Consequently, a similar process is used to take them apart. Take them apart at your station, then walk the individual components to the room. There's even a sign on the door that tells you to not un-rack the barbells while in the crowded, small equipment room.

But, a technique that seems like courtesy and general common sense to most is also a technique that Bottleneck Lady is oblivious to. This "lady" will take her barbell to the room, park it in front of a growing line of other fitness class participants, and take her sweet time taking the weights off her bar, carefully placing the plates on the rack, and putting her bar up. All the while, multiple people are behind her, holding heavy sets of weights, waiting to put them up.

This may not sound too bad to many people, but a gym has a natural order of things, a doctrine, if you will. This lady is breaking the Gym Law, and I am thoroughly against this. (I have a feeling that she hogs the water fountain, too.)

Comparison
Bottleneck Lady is actually worse than W.T.S.G. because (although gross) W.T.S.G doesn't actually deter anyone from doing something. He's just there, bad genes and all. Bottleneck Lady, on the other hand, holds up multiple people from leaving class in a timely fashion. She also makes me want to yell "READ THE SIGN! FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE A BARBELL!" I don't get mad often, so consider this an outburst.

Unfortunately, I have no recourse in dealing with these gym celebrities. All I can do is laugh at them in a blog they will never read. How's that for justice? Anyways, I'm sure I can think of many more "celebrities," so stay tuned for Part 2.

100 Day

As I reach a milestone of blogging known as my 100th page view (who cares if 50 are from me?), I look back to my younger days and remember the elementary school phenomenon known as the "100th Day of School." This was a magical time when children brought in 100 items to class, did math with 100 candies, and many other wondrous things. It was the day the number line was cool again.

The number 100 has a special meaning for many article writers (according to my Google search, anyways). There are sites devoted to living with only 100 things (see previous blog update), sites for taking 100 pictures, 100 things to do before you die, and so on. So, in the spirit of the number 100, I'm going to list a few things I wish I had 100 of.

1. Vacation days. This would mean that almost 1/3 of my year would be devoted to not working.
2. Barry Zito action figures. 1 down, 99 to go.
3. 100 more page views (gotta win you readers over).
4. Episodes of Law and Order to watch. I can run through 5 of these in a day, easy.
5. Things to get rid of in order to satisfy my end of the "100 Things Challenge" blog

Anyways, this is a kind of silly post, but maybe you can think about things that you wish you had 100 of. In elementary school, 100 M & M's did the trick. Now, you may be thinking money, jewelry, Coach purses, or whatever else you enjoy. Ah, how things change.

An Ode to Dying Careers

In a recent Forbes magazine article, career opportunities that will be declining during the recession were listed. If you don't believe me, check out the link:
http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/111881/careers-headed-for-the-trash-pile

Amongst the listed careers were the likes of stage performers, holistic healers, and postal workers. These careers may not seem to be related, but in the grand scheme of things, they represent a segment of things people are not willing to pay a lot of money for. For example, a one hour acupuncture treatment can be around $100 (Lexington prices). Stage shows ranging from Broadway to Vegas certainly see declines in a time when people have to be tight with their money. And we all know about the postal service's decline with the advent of e-mail.

Although I am saddened that many lion tamers and acupuncturists will now find themselves jobless, the real thing I want to focus on here is the postal service. Yes, I realize that it's a lot easier to shoot out an e-mail than to actually write a letter, and in many situations things need to get somewhere fast. But, it's also very alarming to me that the lack of real communication in society is declining and that we are all becoming impersonal.

Sitting down and writing someone a real piece of communication with a pen and paper may actually be one of the nicest things you can do for someone these days. It shows that:
a) You know how to write and spell (hopefully)
b) You took 5-10 minutes out of your busy day to think about someone and then think about something to write them
c) You spent 37+ cents on mailing said item and additional time to track down a mailbox

I, for one, know that I am exceptionally happy to receive one lone piece of personal mail in my sea of credit card offers, coupons and bills. I've kept old postcards and letters from friends over the years, unlike e-mails I've deleted with a simple click. I also remember my grandmother spending time writing to old friends on her note pad with the rose design. She always had envelopes, stamps and paper ready to go in case she wanted to send something out, or to return the favor of an old friend writing her a letter.

Newsweek has a pretty decent article about the lost art of letter writing: (http://www.newsweek.com/2009/01/17/the-good-word.html). Maybe it sums up my point better than I can myself: "Writing a lot of letters will not turn you into Lincoln or Shakespeare, but if you do it enough, you begin to put your essential self on paper whether you mean to or not. No other form of communication yet invented seems to encourage or support that revelatory intimacy."

Many people in our lives deserve this sort of attention and intimacy, yet very few get to see this side of ourselves. Maybe the challenge here is to go out, buy a card or note paper, and send something out. This may involve actually finding out what a friend's address is, and even using your cursive handwriting. But, I think it might be a good challenge. Otherwise, you could always support the lion taming industry by buying a circus ticket. I'll let you decide.

The Tao of Dancin' Guy

Have you ever read The Tao of Pooh? (If not, I would highly recommend it.) If you have, you'll recall that this book relays to us the idea of Tao (a philosophical-type concept) in the form of Winnie the Pooh analysis. To be very brief, the concept of Tao is that life should be simple, we shouldn't worry, and we should just "be." Pooh is the perfect example of Tao, because he "just is." The others (Rabbit, Eeyore, Owl) are too wrapped up in their own lives to figure out what makes them truly happy in life.

Now that I've given an over-simplified version of Taoism, let me flashback to last night's Kentucky basketball game. This may be somewhat of a leap to go from Taoism to basketball, but we all know UK basketball is religion for some, so I'll go with it.

Last night at the game, I was reminded of one of my favorite presences at the game. No, not the Wildcat, or even Coach Cal. The part I'm talking about here is the phenomenon known as "Dancin' Guy." Okay, maybe his name is not really Dancin' Guy, but that's what I like to think of him as. He's the guy who has perfected his moves to "Mony Mony" over the past few seasons of basketball.

During the second half of the game (during a TV timeout), he comes down the stands, sliding down the hand rails, and puts on a lively dancing performance to the Billy Idol song. Dancin' Guy can only be seen if you go to a live game, and he's on the overhead monitors at the stadium-but not on TV. Here's an old article about him: http://www.kentucky.com/2009/03/01/710959/boogie-man-dances-for-joy-at-rupp.html

Not only has he overcome some difficult odds (a brain tumor, and a stint in a psychiatric hospital top the list), but he brings enthusiasm that is not often seen in regular fans. Regardless of the score of a game, he's there to pump us up. While many are concerned about how they will look on the camera, or how awful their dancing is, Dancin' Guy just is. He gets his groove on and doesn't care who is watching. I admire him for this.

And in this way, he's like Winnie the Pooh. "While Eeyore frets. . .Pooh just is." Maybe we can all take a lesson from Dancin' Guy (and Pooh). Who cares if you look silly? Who cares if you make a mistake? Life goes on, and it can be enjoyable if you want it to be. So pull out your Billy Idol cassette tape, and bust a rug.

Anti-Prom and Anti-Valentines': Two Peas in a Pod?

Flashback to high school for a moment with me. As a junior, I was forced to make a life-altering decision. Should I go to prom?

First off, I should explain that my school's prom was unlike many of the events I see on TV or hear my friends describe. Our prom was jokingly called "NCAA Basketball Tournament" because of its location-the high school gym (themes that didn't win out included "Fornication Under the Sea"). We had free pops and a few veggie trays out in the cafeteria adjacent to the gym, and the decorations were probably on the discount page of the prom sales magazine (hello, pink cardboard cut-outs). There were no limos, no dinners, and no hotels. Hopefully this paints a clear picture for you.

Another factor in my decision was that I was not a very cool kid (I still am not, for the record). Who would be my date? All the science nerds and less athletic jocks were taken, so I would have to go by myself. At a couples-heavy event such as prom, this can often be awkward and extra uncool unless you have enough back-up with you.

Now, as an adult, another couple-related event is coming up: Valentines' Day. Many people are bitter about the holiday, while others are giddy and excited. I don't really fall into either of this categories, so I'm not quite sure how to respond to the holiday.

Most of my Valentines' Days in my life have been spent doing non-couple things. In elementary school, it was my duty to make a cardboard shoebox into a magical valentine card receiving unit. I received a lot of the "You're a Good Friend" valentines (Star Wars and Power Ranger themed, no doubt), but not many of the "I'd Pick You, Valentine" valentines.

Later in life, I spent Valentines' Day in the company of good friends, watching unromantic movies and eating Thai food, by myself eating ice cream, or some combination of these things. I did have one Valentines' Day date with someone I had met once (that did not go well, by the way) when I was a junior in college, but I'm not sure I would even count that.

For the past few years that I have been in a relationship, I've celebrated the holiday in traditional fashion, with dinners and wineries and chocolates all around. These were nice dates, don't get me wrong. But the dates I remember the most have been ones that weren't forced. Going to sushi for no reason, baseball games, and trips to the zoo are all fond memories that fall ahead of the Valentines' Day memories.

For all of you wondering the outcome of the prom decision, I did not go to junior/senior prom that year. Instead, a few amazing friends and I hosted an "Anti-Prom Party." A very crafty and creative friend planned out various party games, such as "Pick a Date," where each attendee picked an envelope that contained a "dream date." Bill Clinton was an option, as was Steve Urkel, if you were wondering. There were many other games, food, and general fun had by all-way better than basketball prom.

I guess the point is that Valentines' Day shouldn't be such a big deal. We should do nice things for our someone (or many someones) special all the time instead of having a commercial holiday to tell us. Sometimes, the unlikely events are the better memories anyways. So for all of those going out tomorrow, have fun-but don't throw it in everyone's face. Someone may be having a just as good of a time at their anti-Valentines' Day party, anyways.

100 Things Challenge

I recently discovered an interesting idea known as the "100 Things Challenge" while perusing the good ol' internet. For those who have not heard about this, the concept is basically to have only 100 worldly possessions. The rules vary, but people following this concept try to get rid of enough stuff to say they can only have 100 things. This guy wrote a book about it: http://guynameddave.com/about-the-100-thing-challenge/

Some people count collections or groupings of things as one item on their list (like a baseball card or DVD collection). There are also rules for some people that exclude basic necessities like household cleaners, pots and pans and other such things from the count to 100. The rules get a little blurry based on whose version you look at, but the basics are the same: consumerism is bad, get rid of stuff, etc.

As I look around my apartment, I realize I could never get down to 100 items, but I'm very intrigued by the people that can. These people are living off of a few pairs of jeans, an MP3 player and a set of keys. It's impressive and I applaud their efforts.

So, in honor of this challenge, I am vowing to get rid of 100 things. I realize this is not as hard core as the original challenge, but I think it will give me some perspective on what I'm hanging on to and what I can part with. I'll report back with the things I get rid of.

The Value of a Dollar

Here's a thought: things that are supposed to be a deal aren't worth your money, but neither are a lot of things that cost multiple paychecks. This concept popped in my head today (the juxtaposition of dollar store wares vs. luxury goods, of course) and I wanted to ramble it out.

First off, let's talk about dollar stores. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, these are like department stores, but with crappier departments. Some feature all items that are only a dollar (such as "Dollar Tree"), while others feature things that are multiples of a dollar, but still very cheap (the concept behind "Dollar General").

Why am I such an expert on this sort of retail? Well, my hometown has more dollar stores than I can count on one hand, so I have a pretty good grasp of how this business model works.

Anyways, many of the things at these stores may be useful, but others are simply unnecessary. Unicorn statues, Ghostbusters stickers, and a ball on a string with a paddle come to mind. Just because something is only one dollar does not mean we are getting a good deal on it, or that we need it. You can apply this concept to any clearance bin of any store if you wish, but the point is that people never consider what they are getting in return for their money. They simply view their purchases as a deal.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum are things that we want that cost too much money. The first example I think of is in the category of expensive pens. Did you know that a Mont Blanc (i.e. fancy pen) can be several hundred dollars? That better be a damn good pen. But is it, really? I've never had a problem writing things down without one. Perhaps a Bic (from the dollar store even) could do the job.

Am I asking everyone to purchase only goods and services that fall in the middle of these two categories? Not particularly. But what I am suggesting is that many of us have skewed value systems when it comes to the dollar. If we stopped to think about how much work it took us to earn our dollar, we would not buy silly things (as much).

For example, if you make $15 an hour, it would take you 40 hours of work (i.e. around a week for a full time job) to purchase one Mont Blanc. On the other hand, you could buy 40 unicorn figurines for an entire week of work. For some of us, these things may be worth it. But for others, this simple math calculation may be enough to persuade them out of buying something.

So, what is the point of all of this? What should we be spending our money on? A few ideas:

1. Stocks, bonds, IRAs. Some people may think of value as savings or retirement accounts, and these are both very commendable ways to spend extra money. I can't really make fun of this at all.

2. Entertainment. Many people cannot remember the exact second that they bought a unicorn figurine, but many can remember going to their first baseball game, concert, monster truck rally, or vacation. Instead of thinking of entertainment as wasted money, we should think of it as an investment in fond memories.

3. Something you may actually want for a long period of time. Think of something you want, then don't buy it for a few days. Save up for it, and decide after a few days (or weeks) if you still want it. It could be a frivolous item or something more practical, but actually pondering over spending money may be a better decision than split second purchases of any kind. Plus, you will not have buyer's remorse if you've spent more than 5 seconds on deciding whether or not to buy something.

Well, hope this gave everyone a little bit of perspective. Yes, people who waste lots of money on expensive things they don't need may have the wrong idea. But so do people who spend lots of money on a large quantity of trivial, cheap things. Maybe we could all use a bit of focus so we could get back to spending our money a bit wiser.

Things I Never Realized as a Kid

A conversation over dinner tonight reminded me of something very interesting. My view of life was very different as a child than it is now. Some may say it was limited or naive but I'd like to think of it as more positive. Either way, I've decided to list a few of these:

1. There are a lot of drunk/high people around.

As a 5-year old, I'm sure I had no clue what drugs or alcohol were. I couldn't identify bloodshot eyes or slurred speech as a potential sign of substance use. Less naive Katie now realizes the dude carefully aligning the lettuce and tomatoes on my sub sandwich is probably high; my delicious Italian 12-cheese bread is not the only thing he waked and baked this AM. The lady at the gas station not only hates her job, but especially hates doing it hungover. Santa Claus is not a jolly old soul; he's a really skinny heroin addict trying to make a few bucks and avoid getting kicked in the shins by some brat. I'm sure many of you encounter similar personalities in your life as well.

2. Movies and TV shows have lots of dirty references

Who knew cartoons put such awful things in there? Well, everyone now that we have the internet. But watching "The Little Mermaid" never seemed risque to me until a few years ago. Other kids movies have some questionable parts as well, but you'd never know it. I guess they have to put something in there for the adults watching. Anyways, I'll let you Google this one yourself to figure it out.

3. Every town has a prostitute

Flashback again to five-year old Katie, who once told her Mother that a street walker she saw was "beautiful." Aside from horrifying my Mom that I would turn into a prostitute, this story has a purpose. The older you are, the easier you can ID a real, live hooker. Otherwise, it's just a woman with incredible fashion taste. I would've killed for that pink sequined tube top.

4. "Goosebumps" and "Scooby Doo" are not scary

Many people in my generation will probably remember "Goosebumps," the popular kiddie fiction novels about strange and supposedly scary situations. Even more people probably know about "Scooby Doo," a show about a dog who solves mysteries. I'll admit it: both of these scared me to death. I would watch Scooby with a blanket over the majority of my body and face, and would peak out with one eye to see what was happening. I would read "Goosebumps" only in the company of an adult who could save me from my perceived horror.

Now, looking at the titles for these things makes me laugh. "Say Cheese and Die" and "The Horror at Camp Jelly Jam" are a few titles from the book series. Seriously? I'm supposed to be afraid of food items? The worst thing that could happen here would be a nice case of food borne illness.

As for Scooby Doo, I have much love and respect for the series, but am no longer afraid of ice cream flavored ghosts (from "The Ghost of the Bad Humor Man" episode) or Merlin and the Black Knight (from "Scared a Lot in Camelot"). I have moved on to very similar, but more adult programming ("CSI" and "Law and Order" are the first that come to mind).

Anyways, I guess the point of this article is that sometimes it's good to look through the rose-colored glasses of childhood (while other times it's good to be cynical). Here's to nostalgia.

Super Bowl Match-ups: Food

Well, we all know my Super Bowl prediction doesn't really mean a whole lot. I'm not a professional sports analyst and I know it, so I've decided on a prediction of a different kind. What sort of food should win out in the epic battle of Super Bowl Party food decisions? Here are a few key match-ups:

1. Dips

Dips are a popular subcategory of Super Bowl fare, mainly because they are a breeze to make, easy to store (hello, Crock Pot), and delicious to eat. Dips that come to mind are those for vegetables (ranch dip usually), those with bread or crackers (spinach or other sour cream based dips), and those served on chips (cheese dip with sausage or other ingredients). These may vary in type or dipping apparatus, but this is a generalization. All can be scrumptious, but there may be too many appetizers to get to all of them. You have to have a strategic game plan for this course.

Outcome: Cheese dip is probably the most delicious, but it borders on main course. Don't get burnt out early in the game by meat and cheese. Stick with the vegetable dips for this one. Your stomach will thank you.

2. Pizza vs. Wings

Here's the breakdown on main courses. Pizza, in all of its many forms, is delicious. It's a whole meal contained on a single slice of bread. The only down side to this delicious choice is that it may be too filling. This could be detrimental if you are trying to make rounds at several parties, or if you need to sample many dishes at one party. Use with caution.

Wings, on the other hand, are quite delicious but may be messy. If your kind host or hostess provides you with enough napkins to do clean up with, then I would give the green light on this one. Wings can also have a wide variety of types and flavors, making them almost as versatile as pizza. Wings are also the quintessential football food, making them a must-eat today.

Outcome: I know only one team can win, but why limit your main courses because of it? Eat/serve both.

3. Desserts

To those trying to have lighter Super Bowl fare, perhaps you can find a fruit platter somewhere. For those of us who consider the Super Bowl a mini-Thanksgiving, I would suggest finding something a little more on the excessive side. I saw some cookie cakes in the shape of football helmets at the local grocery store, along with football themed brownies. These would be a good acquisition for the fourth quarter drive. If you're feeling extra festive, maybe some chocolate fondue style desserts would be in order. Either way, there are many solid dessert choices to pick.

Outcome: Don't skimp on this category. I would go for the signature dessert at the party first. Is there a football field sculpted out of chocolate? A cake shaped like a football helmet? Get these first as they'll run out quickly, then branch out to the lesser desserts if you have room.

Whatever the outcome of your Super Bowl extravaganza, I hope these tips helped you to make the right picks.

Dumpster Diving; Trash or Treasure?

I live at an apartment complex in a fairly nice neighborhood. The complex utilizes several large dumpsters in discreet areas for residents to throw their trash away. This creates the phenomenon known as "Dumpster Divers." No, these are not competitive swimmers who practice in residential trash piles (corny, I know). Rather, it is an interesting group of folks who sift through other people's trash in order to find valuable or rare goods.

This may seem like a niche hobby, and you're right. But, a lot of websites are devoted to the topic, and many offer valuable tips and advice. I'll turn to WikiHow for this link: http: //www.wikihow.com/Dumpster-Dive

Now, the point of my article is not to convert you to the art of dumpster diving. But it's not really to condemn the practice either. Let me instead present a somewhat objective argument on the subject.

The Pros:

People do tend to throw away a lot of pretty decent stuff. Some furniture is salvageable (unless "BED BUGS" is spray painted on the item, but that's a whole different post), such as lamps, tables, storage bins, etc. If you take cans or bottles to recycling facilities in certain states, for example, you can get cash for them. This article has some pretty good ways to earn money while recycling: http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/08/4-ways-to-earn-cash-from-recycling.php

In addition, shows like "Pawn Stars" and "American Pickers" have added a flare to the art of "picking" and "junking." The average people shown in these series have become famous simply by buying and selling weird stuff. This gives incentive to many other junkers to pursue their hobby to the fullest.

The Cons:

The first thought that comes to mind when I think of this hobby is the awful garbage I throw away on a somewhat regular basis. Not to be too graphic, but the thought of wading through smelly old food, used tampons, baby diapers and many other less-than-savory items does not appeal to me. I've seen divers at my apartment sans gloves or protective gear. Clearly, these were not professional divers.

Also, the thought of striking gold may be enough to motive some divers, but not everyone will have such luck. One may spend years of their life searching for "the find," only to discover they have wasted a lot of their time in a dumpster for meaningless trash. Plus, the History Channel can only make so many shows about this type of thing.

The Outcome:

If you're looking to save a few bucks and you see a somewhat attractive, sturdy table on the side of the road, pick it up. But, if you're looking to turn this into a business, you'd better be ready to be knee-deep in crap. I think I'll stick to spying on my local divers through my window from the comfort of my nice, clean apartment.

Reasons Why I Hate the GRE

I've been thinking a lot about the GRE today, mainly because I am supposed to take it today. (Yes, I'm using my review time to get in a quick blog.) For those of you lucky enough to have no prior knowledge of this bane, I'll give a brief explanation. The test is computer-based and consists of verbal, math and writing sections. Each section has a set number of questions and/or essay prompts that must be answered within a given range of time.

Now, I realize that I have an unnatural fear and/or hatred of this standardized test. Why such emotions over a silly test? I've asked myself this question many times, and I believe the hatred can be concisely explained by three main points:

1. I used enjoy 2 out of 3 of the sections that the GRE is supposed to measure: writing and verbal. I actually enjoyed grammar reviews and English classes for my entire education. Furthermore, as you may realize of many bloggers, I enjoy writing.

But now, these loves have been tainted by this exam. The GRE expects the average person to know words like "desultory" or "augury" and maybe even expects these same people to use these words in every day conversation. I should probably clarify that I am applying for a Master's program in Public Health. In this field, I would be expected to convey my messages in a manner (and language) that my audience could understand. Using fancy words to make my point would only alienate and confuse my audience. Not what I'm looking for if I want to be a success. To use a favorite quote: "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice?"

As for the writing section, you may be able to find a glimmer of enjoyment in this task, but I'm not sure it's quite what I would call "writing for pleasure." Either way, I find little enjoyment in these subjects when in test form.

2. In addition, the GRE takes any test taking skills I had learned over my 15+ years of education and destroys them. Since I took my first paper-based exam in a class I can't even remember, I have had the ability to leave a question blank if I was unsure of the answer and come back to it at the end of the test. Many may use this strategy as well. It saves time and makes sure that you answer the questions you are sure of first.

But, the GRE is a computer-based exam. Therefore, once you lock in the answer to a question, there's no looking back. Heaven forbid that the first question stumps you; you'd be better off just moving on I suppose. But, the test is also weighed more heavily at the beginning than the end, meaning that the answers you give on the first 1/3 of the questions set the tone for the rest of the exam (as well as influence your score in a greater manner).

Yes, I realize you can still take the exam in a paper format, but the test results take ages to come in, which is not good in the face of application deadlines. Perhaps this is something we will all have to get used to, as many more things will be computer-based only. Hopefully kids are getting this lesson in school. . .

3. The last reason I hate the GRE is simple: I suck at math and they don't give me a calculator. This may fall under what I would call a "goo-goo-gah-gah" category (i.e. stop being a big baby category). I agree with myself on some level, but on another, I am angry that I don't get a calculator. There have been few times in my life where I have needed to do a math problem and not had a computer or a calculator. Certainly, I'm not an engineer, and I'm definitely not Macgyver.

Still, what skill are we really testing here? Give me a calculator! GOO-GOO!

Anyways, the fact remains that I cannot change the GRE. It can only change me. So, if the next time you see me I'm wearing a sweet Macgyver leather jacket and using really, really big words, you'll know what happened.

Competition at its Finest (?)

I think most people have a competitive nature. When many think of competition, they think of athletics or academics. But the kind of competition I'm talking about is much more mundane.

I noticed this initially when my apartment complex announced they were hosting a chili cook-off. Considering myself a slightly above average cook, I decided to enter. Sweetening the pot (so to speak) is that the winner receives a $100 gift card and a certificate of greatness. So, a hundred dollar gift card is pretty sweet. But, overall there is a lot of work that goes into creating an original recipe and making it in a large quantity. Furthermore, why do I need a certificate of greatness from my apartment?

Another case in point was at a recent silent auction I attended as a part of a church fundraiser. Donated items were surrounding bidders in a large dining room. Each item had its own clipboard with a value and suggested bid, with blanks for charitable bidders to place their bid. As I went around the room placing generous $5 bids on selected gift cards and the like, a hint of adrenaline hit me. I wanted to win something and I wanted to get a "deal" on it. I even wanted to get in Bidder Number 33's face and tell them they were going down in the betting for the gift card I wanted. What is wrong with this picture? Adrenaline at a church fundraiser? It seems a bit inappropriate, I agree.

These are just the two most recent examples in my life, and I'm sure some come to mind as you are reading this.

But I think everyone is like this. We all get competitive when sitting at a stoplight next to another car, seeing another person's exam grade, or seeing how fast someone else is running next to us. Maybe this is okay in certain situations. But perhaps we should take a moment to analyze whether we are getting too aggressive over silly situations. The chili cook-off is meant to be entertaining and the church fundraiser is obviously a charity event. So instead of inserting undue competitiveness into these sorts of things, just maybe we could appreciate the mundane tasks in life instead of making them into a fierce competition.