Things I Never Realized as a Kid

A conversation over dinner tonight reminded me of something very interesting. My view of life was very different as a child than it is now. Some may say it was limited or naive but I'd like to think of it as more positive. Either way, I've decided to list a few of these:

1. There are a lot of drunk/high people around.

As a 5-year old, I'm sure I had no clue what drugs or alcohol were. I couldn't identify bloodshot eyes or slurred speech as a potential sign of substance use. Less naive Katie now realizes the dude carefully aligning the lettuce and tomatoes on my sub sandwich is probably high; my delicious Italian 12-cheese bread is not the only thing he waked and baked this AM. The lady at the gas station not only hates her job, but especially hates doing it hungover. Santa Claus is not a jolly old soul; he's a really skinny heroin addict trying to make a few bucks and avoid getting kicked in the shins by some brat. I'm sure many of you encounter similar personalities in your life as well.

2. Movies and TV shows have lots of dirty references

Who knew cartoons put such awful things in there? Well, everyone now that we have the internet. But watching "The Little Mermaid" never seemed risque to me until a few years ago. Other kids movies have some questionable parts as well, but you'd never know it. I guess they have to put something in there for the adults watching. Anyways, I'll let you Google this one yourself to figure it out.

3. Every town has a prostitute

Flashback again to five-year old Katie, who once told her Mother that a street walker she saw was "beautiful." Aside from horrifying my Mom that I would turn into a prostitute, this story has a purpose. The older you are, the easier you can ID a real, live hooker. Otherwise, it's just a woman with incredible fashion taste. I would've killed for that pink sequined tube top.

4. "Goosebumps" and "Scooby Doo" are not scary

Many people in my generation will probably remember "Goosebumps," the popular kiddie fiction novels about strange and supposedly scary situations. Even more people probably know about "Scooby Doo," a show about a dog who solves mysteries. I'll admit it: both of these scared me to death. I would watch Scooby with a blanket over the majority of my body and face, and would peak out with one eye to see what was happening. I would read "Goosebumps" only in the company of an adult who could save me from my perceived horror.

Now, looking at the titles for these things makes me laugh. "Say Cheese and Die" and "The Horror at Camp Jelly Jam" are a few titles from the book series. Seriously? I'm supposed to be afraid of food items? The worst thing that could happen here would be a nice case of food borne illness.

As for Scooby Doo, I have much love and respect for the series, but am no longer afraid of ice cream flavored ghosts (from "The Ghost of the Bad Humor Man" episode) or Merlin and the Black Knight (from "Scared a Lot in Camelot"). I have moved on to very similar, but more adult programming ("CSI" and "Law and Order" are the first that come to mind).

Anyways, I guess the point of this article is that sometimes it's good to look through the rose-colored glasses of childhood (while other times it's good to be cynical). Here's to nostalgia.