As an exercise enthusiast, I've noticed that there are a lot of characters at a place like the gym: some good, and some very bad. I have formulated a set of common gym stereotypes out of the people I see so often. In this three part segment, I hope to outline some of the more memorable personalities I've encountered.
The Way Too Sweaty Guy
This guy is frequently found in cycling class. He's wearing an Under Armour tank top, trying to look buff. But, you also notice he's put 10 of the red gym rags under his bike. What's going on?
Midway through class, W.T.S.G. (Way Too Sweaty Guy) has formed his own pool underneath his exercise device. Sweat is dripping off him at such an alarming rate that the towels under him look like the generic brand of paper towels in a Brawny commercial. The janitor probably needs to come in and clean up the room after him because he barely wipes down the floor after throwing his wad of towels in the dirty hamper. How is one dude producing so much sweat? Why are we forced to watch him? [*sigh*]
The Bottleneck Lady
This person is an avid group fitness class participant. Most classes at my gym are in a workout studio with small rooms for the equipment in back of the studio. You can walk in, get a step or some weights, and walk aback out. In the most annoying incident, this lady will try to block as many people as possible from getting their weights out of the rooms, and more annoyingly, back in the room.
Many classes feature barbells, which require weights on each end of a bar that are secured with two clips. The proper etiquette for getting this particular workout item is to get all items individually, take them back to your station, then put them together into the barbell. Consequently, a similar process is used to take them apart. Take them apart at your station, then walk the individual components to the room. There's even a sign on the door that tells you to not un-rack the barbells while in the crowded, small equipment room.
But, a technique that seems like courtesy and general common sense to most is also a technique that Bottleneck Lady is oblivious to. This "lady" will take her barbell to the room, park it in front of a growing line of other fitness class participants, and take her sweet time taking the weights off her bar, carefully placing the plates on the rack, and putting her bar up. All the while, multiple people are behind her, holding heavy sets of weights, waiting to put them up.
This may not sound too bad to many people, but a gym has a natural order of things, a doctrine, if you will. This lady is breaking the Gym Law, and I am thoroughly against this. (I have a feeling that she hogs the water fountain, too.)
Comparison
Bottleneck Lady is actually worse than W.T.S.G. because (although gross) W.T.S.G doesn't actually deter anyone from doing something. He's just there, bad genes and all. Bottleneck Lady, on the other hand, holds up multiple people from leaving class in a timely fashion. She also makes me want to yell "READ THE SIGN! FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE A BARBELL!" I don't get mad often, so consider this an outburst.
Unfortunately, I have no recourse in dealing with these gym celebrities. All I can do is laugh at them in a blog they will never read. How's that for justice? Anyways, I'm sure I can think of many more "celebrities," so stay tuned for Part 2.
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